Perhaps
we are all
fools
for thinking
there might be
an answer.
Maybe
the answer that
answers all
is that
all questions
will remain
unanswered.

BHS

Sunlight shimmers
through the green leaves
in my room.

Silence, everyone’s resting
I pressume.

Orange light
shines softly
on my fears.

It won’t take long
until darkness appears.

For now sunlight
is still shimmering
how I like it best.

Can it stay a little
longer tonight
and be more than
just a guest?

BHS
 

My eyes flicker
through the crowd
full of blank faces.

People staring into
nothingness, thinking
of the days to come

worried, not one
smiling face
to be found.

A grumpy crowd
going in a stream
all the same direction.

As I look at them
I turn around
smile and take
the other route.

I guess I am afraid
of what’s going to come
afraid of being alone
afraid of feeling numb.

Afraid of wrong decisions
how they will unfold
afraid for more collisions
afraid of being old.

Scared of the times to come
that I am just not enough
scared of being dumb
scared that it’s too tough.

Terrified that I write
not good enough to get paid
terrified of the fight
I am just so afraid.

Smiling faces
teeth touching air
mine can’t seem
to join them anymore.

Done running these races
rest feels so rare
all a bad dream
and I’m sleeping on the floor.

Looking for new places
somewhere, elsewhere
I want to scream
but my throat’s too sore.

Nothing feels light
but I’m not ill
just cut me some slack
an hour shutting down

Done with my fight
too stubborn for a pill
I lost my track
I’ll go to another town

Or I’ll just write
cause all I do is spill
and maybe I’ll come back
if I don’t drown
which I will.

I see
and I feel
my mind wanders freely
my protection I peel
destroy the walls around me.

I look
and see you
a moment it took
to have me
and my mind too.

I want to share
and touch
because I care
but maybe
you’re too much
and I’m just not enough.

More than often
feels my brain unbearable
while my eyes soften
I feel un-repairable.
As tears walk down
my salted skin
and I run to another town
through dark layers I spin.

Why do I feel so trapped
without a good reason to?
In blackness strapped
glued so close to blue.
There must be an explanation
an answer to my sadness
to be freed from my brains dictation.
As to why I feel, this madness.

They’re poking his fears
driving him onto
the edge of tears.
He has nothing more
to say
his throat is sore
and he’s so tired of this play.
One last run
and he’ll finally be alone,
there will be warmth and sun
isn’t that well-known?

And so he writes:
“I’m sorry, I love you all”
He looks at the upcoming lights
and

lets his body finally fall.

The tiredness of
the day,
overwhelms me
while I lay,
curled up
in my bed,
trying to
open my eyes
just one second
longer of the day
until my eyes are
too heavy
and my body
too weak.
Until words have
no voice
and yawns
will speak.
Just until I
give up and let
sleep get its way,
letting it
slowly kill
time
making tomorrow
today.

I am sitting in my bathtub.
I’ve been here
for how long?
The water is
cold and filthy
and my skin is
wrinkled and numb

My head is heavy
even though,
I feel empty as my
soul
has fused with
the numbness of my skin.

My mind has parted
and drifted.
Left me completely numb,
as it drowns in my bathtub
In which I have been sitting
way too long.