Imagine you have found a person whose character matches yours completely, but he or she just looks like a potato, to clarify, he or she is hideous. Would you completely accept this person or would wish he or she had a different face? Nowadays appearance is extremely important in our society. But why is that the case? And what does being beautiful even mean?
A quality very pleasing to the eye, says the Cambridge dictionary, but pleasing isn’t very objective, so what is pleasing exactly? We encounter our beauty standards every day. In films, commercials, magazines and more. So we are confronted with the pressure to look like the models we see on a daily basis. Tall girls, with a flat stomach and long hair, that is the image our society shows. That is, sadly enough, what beauty is: unrealistic standards. But in the end beauty doesn’t really matter, you’re defined by your actions, right?
Not exactly. Good looking people have great advantages over the ugly. Take for example a look at salaries. According to research from Barry Harper of London Guildhall University is the pay penalty for unattractiveness 15% for men and 11% for women and overweight women earn even 5 % less than average. Not only do looks help in the job market, in both sexes,, they help in the marriage market. Handsome people are more confident, are helped faster and can even have a lighter sentence if they’re a criminal. So having a pretty face makes your life a lot easier, but how far would you go to achieve these beauty standards?
It starts very harmless with a little bit of make-up, but in a split-second you have had multiple facelifts, liposuctions and breast enlargements. Once you’ve stepped into the world of plastic surgery it is hard to get out. It is common human behaviour to want more. Rich people want more money and in this case, people want to get prettier and prettier through surgeries. And as well as women, men are also in this vicious circle. They take for example drugs to get an athlete’s torso and go to great lengths and huge costs to make themselves better looking.
It’s not only the western society that is obsessed with beauty, in Africa women put rings around their necks to be beautiful and in Asia they allow their to be bound to make them tiny. This sounds and is indeed dangerous, but so is plastic surgery. Before you decide to book an appointment with a plastic surgeon, it has to be clear how risky it is.
For some reason, people do not treat plastic surgery with the same caution and fear they would if it were another surgical procedure. A facelift can lead to difficulties opening your mouth and eyes and if that happens you most certainly do not have prettier face then before. But there is more, a facelift can also lead to a blood clot under the skin, which is extremely dangerous if left untreated. And a facelift isn’t the only dangerous surgery. Plastic surgery can cause nerve damages, infections and swollen skins looking like large blisters. And of course, you should not forget that every surgery has a risk of death, so is it really worth it to be beautiful if you can end up with huge health problems? Is being beautiful more important than your own health?

I believe that being comfortable in your own skin is very important. So changing your appearance to feel more confident is fine as long as you can still go outside without a lot of make-up. If you can still accept yourself in your own skin, then it is alright to wear make-up. I like things that are natural and I also like natural people. So if you would ask me if I would go to a plastic surgeon to be beautiful, I will say I’ll pass. I do not believe you should want to change yourself permanently. As long as you can go back to the natural version of yourself I support whatever it is you do with your face. The moment you can’t go back, is the moment I think you have taken one step to far. I also believe that the promotion of all these happy and skinny girls is very wrong and the media should stop deceiving the public that these beauty standards are realistic. In that way there are miserable teenagers trying to look like these models they see every day, not knowing it is impossible, since it is all they see. So for me, I’ll wear some mascara it I will be helped faster, but do these few minutes really matter that much that I want to lift my face? No, I don’t think so. Confidence is very important and before anyone goes to a plastic surgeon, I would advise they will go to a psychologist first. Maybe they will learn to love themselves, before they start cutting their face open.

I have currently easter vacation. Is that what people in America call springbreak? For me it is easter vacation. Two weeks of ‘freedom’. I have been needing this freedom a lot this year. school sucks, we all say that from time to time, but for me it is just that I am done with it. I don’t like the subjects I am been tought, the things that I like aren’t big subjects in class and are just quickly run through and I can’t find any motivation to go back to that place, every single day. I have seen it. I just can’t handle school anymore and the lack of motivation sure does not help. Where did my motivation go anyway? I feel like I have become this lazy person, who just sits on her couch watching series on netflix. The person I hate so much. I want to be doing hundreds of things, want to be busy, constantly busy. Instead I am clicking on next episode twenty times a day. Maybe it is because I am suffering a little. I am feeling spaced out and it could be that I have a light form of depersonalisation, but that shouldn’t bring me down this much. I just want to do so many things, why am I not doing them. Take for example today: I wanted to write a lot, read a lot, maybe even do some schoolwork. Instead of doing that I just watch netflix series the whole day. I hate being so unproductive, I hate this state I am in. I have been in for the last six months. And when is it going to pass? Should I just wait untill something motivates me again? Why is this so hard anyway? Why don’t I get up and start doing things? If you think logically about it, it is really a simple thing. I just get up and start doing things. I have a enough energy, I slept like eleven hours. But that is the thing, emotions are the opposite of logical thinking. There is no reason why you’re not feeling it today, you just aren’t and that is alright. For a short amount of time, because some time you have to start doing things. There are things every person has to do. So do I. Eventually I get up and start doing things, but when I’m done, I still do not feel productive, because I have still left these up untill the last moment. So now, instead of complaining of how I am not doing things, I am going to write down, what I am going to do.

I am going to get up early. (Not too early, I mean it is still vacation after all). I am going to put on sports clothes and going to run at least four kilometres. Then I am going to shower and start reading. I will make the calls I need to make, even the one to my driversschool to plan my theory test of which I am extremely afraid to plan. Tomorrow is the day I am going to get some shit done. And it is alright to relax as well. I can still watch one episode of a series, but not five. Not the whole day. I want to be the productive and energetic girl again. Not this lazy, tired, moody one. It is time that I choose who I want to be and it is time I am going to be who I want to be. It starts this evening. Going to bed at a resonable time. I am so ready to be different. Are you?

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Babette Helena

What is it that makes physical pain more real than mental pain. Why does everyone immediately thinks of physical sickness when I say: ‘I am sick.’ Why does no one thinks that I am talking about depression or any other mental disorder. Why is that immediately out of question? And I find myself guilty of doing the exact same thing. My brain immediately thinks of physical sickness, visible pain. I don’t think of the pain in someone’s brain that can drive them so crazy they actually want to take their own life. I don’t see that pain, so my brain thinks it does not exists.

Why is no one taking mental health serious. Everyone needs to drink more water, but a meditation session is not helpfull at all? I don’t think that is true and yet I never find myself meditating. Why is it so easy to say: ‘I keep coughing, I think I need to go see a doctor’ and why is it so hard to say: ‘I have been feeling down for months, I think I need to go see a doctor?’ Why is that an uncommon thing to do?

Why are all these things the case, I ask. Does physical pain hurt more? Because I don’t think it does. I think mental health is a different but stronger pain. It can eat you up from the inside and you’ll be too afraid to ask anyone for help. It is probably just a little dip. You’re hormones are a bit weird this week, month, year. Mental disorders are harder to recognise, but that doesn’t mean that if you’re feeling down for a while you can’t go and see a doctor?
It is like going to the doctor because you’re coughing a lot and then the doctor tells you it is just a cold and it will pass.
Just go to the doctor when you’re feeling down, maybe the doctor will say it will be over soon and you won’t worry about it anymore.
But maybe the cough is actually pneumonia.
And maybe the feeling down is actually depression.

I think physical and mental health should be seen the same, they affect a person in different ways but they are both drastic and I am done with people not taking mental health serious.

Yet again, I am guilty of a lot of thinks I mentioned. So I am going to try to do better, to understand it better. I hope anyone who reads this, will try and do the same.

Only being
without thinking.
No one knows
where to go
where to be.
But it isn’t
the ‘where’ to focus on.
Focus on ‘to be’
and where’s, who’s, when’s
will follow.

Good evening.

I am feeling alright at the moment.
Everything is really chaotic in my mind so I am in a bit of a weird place.
I am not really sure if it is my actual mental health I am struggling with or if it is just my struggle with stress. Whatever it is, it is unpleasant.
When I am following my normal routine I always feel very basic. It is hard to explain, but let me try.
I do not have feeling of extreme excitement or extreme sadness, I feel a little numb. Like I am not completely taking everything in properly.
When I am in the Netherlands however, for example at sailing camp I have the constant feeling of joy spread through my body. I know that when I am in the Netherlands I have vacation and I am mostly stressfree, but I somehow can enjoy talking with dutch people more.

I am in a really weird place at the moment, so please do not mind my messy article.(again, lol) Maybe it is because I am extremely tired since I have a massive lack of sleep, but I really want to feel not so numb anymore. It is not really bad, do not get me wrong, I am not suffering. Not at all. My mental health is overall pretty good, but sometimes it isn’t. That is normal, I know, everyone is sad from time to time. I just am so dissapointed by myself because I cannot take everything in properly. Let me give you an example:

In 2014 I went to New York. I was extremely excited about it, because I mean it was my first time out of Europe and my first time in New York. So of course I was exctided.
The moment I arrived, everything was fine, but as the trip passed, I just took in less and less. The reason is that I was annoyed very easily and hold a grudge for everything I was annoyed at. So I still thought the city was amazing but I was mad an hour because of something stupid and therefore my mind thought about being mad, not about New York. It is really annoying, because I think that I could have enjoyed it a lot more…

Not only feeling numb is what I am struggling with, also sometimes I feel so tired. Literally, because I sleep not even close to enough, but as well as actually feeling tired I am also tired of being stressed out. I am tired of being around so many uninspiring, boring and superficial people. I just want to be around people with goals and passions. Around people with light coming from them. I am so tired of my school.

I guess the main thing is that I need to sleep. I really need to sleep. After a good nights rest I will feel better, that is something I am sure of! So that is what I am going to do.

Apart from being in a weird state I have been wathing Game of Thrones and it is so good! I love knights, lords, kingdoms, queens, kings. I am really fascinated by all that so this serie is absolutely perfect for me.
I am at season two at the moment, so I have still lots to wacth.

Have a nice evening. Try to stop for a moment and take in what is happening at the moment. Do you want to change anything? Try to change it. Do you want to achieve anything? Try to make a start to achieve your goal. Are you happy with your place? Try to enjoy where you are at the moment. Look proudly of all the thigs you already achieved, but do not become lazy. You can always do better, remember that, but also rememeber that, the fact that you can always do better does not mean it isn’t good enough already.

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Babette Helena

So… Do you know these days where you just feel sad but do not know why? Well, it has not particulary been one of those days but one of those evenings. Let me explain:

I have always known what I wanted to do when I was older. I want to write. I want to create stories and films and series. I know what I want. I’ve known for quite some time now. Therefore, I want to grow up so fast. I want to do those things I really like and I don’t want to do maths, physics, geography, all those subjects, I do not want to do them. I want to do things I really like. But I have wanted this for about one and half year now. I need to finish school and this is another two years. So I am extremely rushing to grow up. I want to be a student, do things I like, meet new inspiring people. I do not like being sixteen, I feel that when I am twenty everything will be different. I know how it sounds, but I have this burning feeling inside that it is true.
So, why am I sad?
I am sad because for the first time I experienced some nostalgia. I am in my last two years of high school and all of sudden I feel so old. These two years are the end sprint until the finish, that is how it feels. And I don’t know where it comes from all of a sudden but I feel sad that it is almost over. Do not get me wrong, again I really want to start doing what I like. But to have a place where you need to go everyday is really comforting. I am for the first time in my life, scared of the future and I am so confused. This is a completley new feeling and I do not know how to deal with this. On one hand I can not wait to start at uni, but on the other hand am I scared for everything. For making the wrong decisions in life. It is really weird I can not really describe this feeling. Maybe I just feel old. Maybe, I feel like my highschool years pasted away in a second. Which is weird because they are not even over yet. I guess it feels all weird. It feels weird that people who are only one year older than me, and also good friends of mine are almost finished at school. I feel weird to be one of the older ones. Everyday when I walk through school I see al those new faces. I used know everyone at my school. Now, I can only recognize a few. I rember being so little, looking up to all the people who were sixteen. Because being sixteen is so old! Those people had already chose their subjects! Now that I am doing this, I ask myself if people look up to me? Everyday when I walk through school and see those new faces, I ask myself: do they know me? Because I used know everyone who was older than me.

I guess this ‘fear’ is because I think everything was better in the past. I don’t mean my past, but the really old past. The 80’s for example. I just like them more. Not only, I also believe that everything is better in the future, cause again I will be doing that what I like. I need to stop that. I need to stop and look at my own life. I am now sixteen, not twenty, and I am going to school everyday. That is how I should think. The future will come, I should not be worried about it. The past is gone, I won’t be another little girl who looks up to every ‘Old’ highschooler. I should not worry if people look up to me, because than I will just be scared, or sad that ‘times have changed’. Because that line is not been used enough by our society isn’t it?
Well. This article was extremely messy and I am still not sure what I want to say exactly, but it is nice to just write your thoughts down. This means they are out of my head, on paper.
Have a lovely evening

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Babette Helena

I am currently in Italy. It is beautiful here. The beach is amazing and the weather is quite good. The waves of the sea are almost 10 meters high so we can’t swim because it is to dangerous. That is a little stupid but the weather will be better soon. I hope at least. Italy is so relaxing, exactly what I needed. Some rest and some relaxing. I’m here with a very good friend of mine and she is Italian which makes a lot of things a bit easier. It is so much fun with her here and I just love it. I’ll try to take some pictures so I can show you how amazing it is here.

We are resting right now because it is really hot outside and because we didn’t sleep so much so it is a good idea to take a short nap. My friend is lying next to me and she a bit tired, I am fine so I’m typing this article on her laptop. The whole room around me is dark and the only light is coming from the laptop screen in front of me. Besides the lovely relaxing music that is playing the only sound in the room is me typing.

Slowly I am getting calmer, I am listening to the beautiful music and try to find the right words to fill in this article. I am thinking about my home, my friends and everything what is now a bit further away. And slowly, my thoughts are getting deeper and deeper. I think about the death and I am not sure if it is the music that makes me think so much or if it is the darkness around me. If it is just me being ‘alone’. My friend isn’t sleeping, she is on her mobile phone. I think she really should try to sleep for a little while. She’s really tired and while I am writing this I discover how tired I actually am.

Before I went to Italy I finished Gossip Girl and I adore the ending. I started a new series called Orphan Black I love it. It is about a girl who sees another girl commit suicide. The girl looks exactly like her and because this girl (sarah) has a lot of problems, she takes the identity from the woman. When she is acting like she is this dead woman she discovers there a lot more people who look exactly like here. It is a bit of fantasy and science fiction but I love it. It is really exciting to watch and I love it.

I just put off the music because my friend wants to sleep. I hope I don’t annoy here witch my typing. I think I am so am going to try to finish this article quick.

It really is weird this silence in the room and I am feeling a bit alone even if my friend is laying next to me. Nobody can hear me and I can hear quite some people speaking Italian.

We met to very nice girls here and we are always spending the evening together. They are really kind I love to hang out with them. It is such a different vibe here. Everything is way more relaxed. Probably because everyone here is on holiday. Well I don’t know I really like it.

Even if I like it, I don’t think I could live here. Or that I could spent to months here. It gets a bit boring. You only go swimming and eating here and there is nothing other really to do. To go here for a little bit is fine but for actually a long time is really boring.

Next week I am sailing and I am really excited about that. I love sailing and because I only do it once a year I am always really excited about it.

I should let my friend sleep.

Speak to you soon

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Babette Helena

It has been a bit blurry the past month. My whole life was just one big blur. It seemed like I slept the whole time and suddenly I woke up. After phoning an hour with my friend, I woke up. The trees seemed greener de sky seemed more blue and my mind seemed crytsal clear. The fuzzy cloud had dissapeared and I asked myself why I fell into that big sleep modus.

I gave up on so many things, I attended classes but wasn’t really there. I was just staring and thinking of other things. Al I could think about was how ugly I was, how dumb I was and I had just given up life a little bit. Not that I was depressed or something, it wasn’t that bad. But there was this dark cloud above my head the whole time. I lost my whole motivations and all I did was standing in my own way. I told myself I couldn’t do it because I was to dumb, to ugly or whatever and because of that I didn’t even tried doing it. I ignored people I was unfriendly and wasn’t myself. Normally I talk to a lot of people but this last month was just weird.

After my friend said that I was acting a little bit weird I figured there was something wrong. I had complexes with myself and in a phone call I told my friend everything. She really helped me out there. I wasn’t really friendly to her the past month and I have the feeling that we have become now a bit closer because I told her everything. She is the one person who knows everything about me.

After the cloud cleared up, I suddenly started to see how weird I was acting. I wasn’t making any jokes. I had barerly spoken in any of my lessons and I haven’t been the best friend. So I started to try act ‘normal’ again. I was still unconfident about everything. I am still actually. Which is really weird because before my sleeping modus I was really confident. But I started talking in the lesson. I started joking around, started to actually say what I thought and it made me feel so good. I was finally relieved, i could say what thought and wasn’t filtering the things I wanted to say the whole time. I could finally speak again.

I am finally thinking about other things, but there is one thing that kept me going. How did I got in such a big blur? It was such a haze the whole time and I don’t know why…

I have thought a lot about this and I think I have an answer. The main reason is, is that I stopped believing in myself. I just gave up on myself. Thinking that I was a complete loser who couldn’t do anything. Who would just fail at life. I realised now that if I’m thinking something like that at the age of fifteen I am really going to be a fail. I shouldn’t give up now. (You should never give up actually) I have my whole life ahead of me and it isn’t going to workt out if I say at the age of fifteen that I am a complete loser. That I am ugly and dumb. It isn’t working. It doesnt’t help. So why don’t I say, that I am not that ugly? Why don’t I’m actually quite good and some things? That I am actually pretty smart? Is it arrogant? It don’t think it is arrogant to believe in yourself. And that is what I am going to do. I am believing in myself and that is where it starts. From there it is only working your butt of. With only hard work you will get exactly there where you want to be,

I wish you all I good night and I want you to believe in yourselfe! You guys are totally awesome and nobody can say you guys aren’t!

Speak to you soon!

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Babette Helena

Hey,

I’m Babette, a girl who enjoys writing a lot. I’m actually dutch and I have this ducth blog, if you want to check it out: http://www.bubblesstyle.blogspot.com

See you soon

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