I

They say, when someone dies,
it takes time for you to heal
it’s the most common advice
when you don’t know how to feel

But

Minutes won’t soothe crying
years won’t bring her back
she keeps on dying
brain capacity
is what I lack

See

Her laugh was once pictorial
today: a distant cry
what is in a memorial
if memories just die?

II

11 years

She is still there,
somewhere
deeply buried
inside my brain

I can’t hear her voice
anymore,
but maybe that made it
easier,
maybe a fading smell
is the only way to
appreciate the smell
of honey again
(even if you don’t want to)

Still,

she lives in between the folds
and sometimes,
when I’m reading a book,
she would enjoy,
her laugh appears
to reassure me that
she is a memory
that sticks

(albeit the memory of a 9 year old)