A story.

“When the day comes that rivers have turned into sand and the Netherlands can stop building dykes, that is the moment I will stop talking.” I smile after I say those words, trying to come across as friendly. He does not say anything else, he just looks at me, his big blue eyes opened widely, trying to come up with some response but failing, leaving him silently staring at me. I do not look back, that would ruin the moment, I look at him as he looks at me, trying not to laugh at his surprised face. “Alright then.” That is all he says while he stands up and grabs his bag. “Can I walk with you to your car?” “Do you really want to, because, well, you won’t shut up and I could really use some silence now.” “I am just going to walk with you to your car.” His face turns to mine and looks at me again with these enormous dark-blue eyes. They are extremely pretty, but you have to look a bit longer to notice that. I do notice it, since he has been staring at me the past ten minutes. His brain is trying to say some words and I can almost feel him going through his vocabulary. It is frankly painful to watch him. “Alright then”, he says again. “You’re not so good with words are you?” “Excuse me?” “You just said ‘alright then’ twice.” “Did I?” “Yes, you did.” “I guess you leave me speechless. Not that I could have a chance to say something.” He mutters his last sentence, but I do hear him and I look up to him with an annoyed look. “Oh come on, you are not going to tell me that this bothers you?” “It does.” “If you really want me to shut up, I will, but I just don’t think you would say anything more interesting.” “Great attitude you have there.” “Alright, here is your car, get in, we’ll talk tomorrow.” “You will talk tomorrow.” “Come on.” He smiles softly, leaving a dimple in his right cheek. I follow his lead, smile at him and close his car door delicately. “See you tomorrow Brayden.” “See you tomorrow Leah.” I step back as he drives away and I slowly walk towards my own car. “Leah Kyzal?” It is a low and deep voice, the voice of man. He must be entering his thirties, at least that is what he sounds like. It is an unfamiliar one and I must say I am confused. I turn around and look into the eyes of, as I guessed, a men entering his thirties. He is wearing a blue shirt and black trousers. His appearance is well put together, yet he looks casual. “Yes?” His black curls  aren’t grey but that could not be the case a whole lot longer. He looks tired, yet full of life. I am guessing he works in an office and for some reason I am intrigued as to who this man is. “Hello miss Kyzal, my name is Caleb Dullen and I am a lawyer at Gollinfer, I don’t know if you’ve heard of them.” “Yes I have, my  brother works there.” “Oh really, what is his name?” “Tobias Coster. We use different surnames, it is a long story.”  “Oh, Tobias is your brother! Who would’ve guessed!” “Well I would actually.” Caleb starts to laugh and I start to get a little annoyed because of his slowness to come to the point. “Sorry, why do you know my name and what do you want?” “Well I know your name because you were on television.” “Right, I forgot about that.” “And I am talking to you because I…. To be honest I don’t really know. I saw you and shouted your name and I thought you wouldn’t hear it but you did so now I am kind of screwed, I am sorry.” “That’s quite alright. I always like to meet new people. Gets a bit creepy when the ‘new people’ know your name already.” I laugh and Caleb does the same. He seems nice, a guy who could never harm a fly. “You know what Caleb, let’s start over. I will give you my number and then you can call me.” “Sure, thank you very much Leah!” “No problem.” “Just one thing, I just want to say that I thought your thoughts seemed very interesting and smart on television and it is lovely to meet you and have your phone number.” I start to laugh, he is very sweet, also kind of awkward, but in a good way. “Thank you Caleb, call me.” “Wait, one more thing, what is it that you do?” “I am an information security analyst. I’ll tell you all about it another time, I really have to go!” “Alright, I will call you!” “You most certainly will!”

I am sitting on my ridiculously comfortable couch, watching some television. My skin has Goosebumps all over  and I am extremely cold. I am feeling uneasy, as if something terrible could happen at any moment. My house is dark and empty, which does not help to reassure me that everything is fine. I know it is, I always do this to myself, I am twenty-eight and still afraid of the dark. My teeth clench and I pause the programme I am watching, as I am unable to concentrate with the screaming darkness that is surrounding me. My trembling hands switch every light near me on, so my room is as bright as possible. With a somewhat more comfortable feeling about this room, walk I back to my couch and sit down. However, I still do not feel reassured so I decide it is better to go to sleep. Tonight feels strange, as if a burglar will break into my house and kill me. I am a logical person, I am good with numbers, I am realistic and often see things from a logical point of view, but when it comes to my fear, there is no logic to be found. My hand grab my wineglass and I take a big gulp. The alcohol burns in my throat, it feels good, I like this kind of pain. In front of me is a phone number I am supposed to call, but I won’t, because I don’t want to. I don’t want to be confronted with my feelings, with my non-functioning brain and I will if I call that number. My hands tremble as I pick the piece of paper up. Next to me is my phone and I know I should type in that number, but I am just too afraid to. So I shove the piece of paper away, under a big pile of letters from my mom and other things I do not want to deal with right now. I let my body fall into my couch and try to enjoy the silence and peace of my house.

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